Sharing

Day 59

Non-stop, busy day! One of those days that feels like you were at work for 2 hours because you were so involved you didn't realize time had passed. One of those days that you just cannot get away for lunch until your stomach absolutely insists and you squeeze in 15 minutes to eat (while still doing work). I like those days. Especially when you are so tired because you can't get a complete night's rest because of the brace on your sprained wrist, and you know you're fighting yet another illness. 

But what was even more nice was that because I had a morning meeting, my work shift was moved earlier so that I had the evening off. Which meant I was able to attend the much-anticipated Ward Talent Show! And let me tell you, nothing compares to Ward Talent Shows like a Young Single Adult Ward Talent Show. Especially out here in Utah (SO much better than the ones in the east). 

First, it had me thinking (and cringing) of all the talent shows I've participated in--both school and Church.

-My first debut: a duet with my sister at the Ward Talent Show. I was 8. We sang "Love is Spoken Here." My I remember rehearsing for that. And feeling like I would just never get it, considering my sister's voice and talent.

-Very shortly after my debut (as in a few minutes later), I had a 2nd performance. 5 of us kids singing "I Point to Myself."

-A YW in Excellence Talent Show-like activity had me singing a duet with my friend Amy. We sang "Because I Have Been Given Much."

-Possibly at the same YW thing, I sang "Angel Lullaby" as a solo. 

-Junior High Talent Show. I auditioned a duet in 7th grade. Elizabeth and I tried "Right Here Waiting." With a dance during the instrumental. We didn't make it. Still embarrassing to remember the audition. 

-Either the same year or the year following, I also auditioned for a dance solo. This was hugely monumental (for rarely does ANYONE see my interpretative dancing, as it is personal and sacred to me), and also hugely embarrassing for me. I offered my lack of talent to others. Something so very special to me. And it was not accepted. Probably what kept me from ever wanting to share that again. Too personal to me to handle the rejection. (And the fact that I know I'm not good.)

-9th grade. I finally made it. I sang a solo. "On My Own." I really don't know what people thought of it. I'm not even sure I remember what I think of it. I just know I sang it because I loved it. And it was long before I knew how cliche of a song it was.

-YW talent show (my last) saw me attempting "Moonlight Sonata" at the piano. I worked so hard in preparation for that one. It will never be a beautiful performance, but that song is a part of me.

-same, last YW talent show also had my solo of "To Bring Them to Thee."

-BYU Talent Shows (can't remember which ones where) saw me singing the duet "In His Eyes" twice, once with my good friend Miranda and once with my roommate Dawn. 

-As an adult, I actually participated in family Ward Talent Shows. Two of them. One was me singing "Someone Like You." And accompanying myself on it. Those two never go well together.

-The other. Oh. Eek. I have it on tape. And I'm still embarrassed and slightly humiliated about. But I had just seen "Wicked" and HAD to do something! So I sang "Popular."

And that's pretty much why I really didn't want to participate in any more talent shows. Not doing my "real" talents anyhow. They were just, well, too serious. People applauded the talent. But I think they were bored to death. And I'm so critical of myself. Talent shows were not the best medium for me. Singing at other functions deems much more room for lacking and mistakes (in my opinion). Thus, I was determined not to participate in another one again.

But happily, I had fun roommates who were clever and talented and full of enthusiasm. And though my part was pathetic, I got to take part in a humorous and popular talent--that was one of the most fun times I've ever had: The Collegiate Cook-Off Championship!

So it was enjoyable to have those memories. But I was also happy to stay safely in my seat and laugh at what I saw, and admire the more serious talents as well. Too bad the sound system was really off.

Thus, today I am grateful for reflection (and knowing that I have not hid my candle under a bushel even if they were painful experiences that still leave me embarrassed) as well as seeing others' abilities to sing, play, dance, and especially provide an enjoyable evening for the rest of us.