So....

So, I guess I forgot to mention, but something happened in my life over the last year.

I found and married a man far better than Henry Tilney himself.

A new direction for my Happily Ever After has come about.

And I am loving every bit of it.

Gospel Message Day 26

Mid-singles Conference report, Part 3

One more day to finish mentioning some of the rest of the tidbits that I gained over the weekend. One session was The Apple Theory: How People Fall in Love. He likened how when we go out looking for people, we tend to do so the way we pick apples. We go for what is appealing, what it can give us or do for us. But we fail to look at the core. He also likened the Alma 32 scriptures of planting a seed to dating. It is mentioned at some point in v. 34 that faith becomes dormant. Brother Allen said that faith is dormant because you stopped thinking, desiring, and hoping. Alma warns against this 3 times in v. 36-39. I loved this analogy. Especially in v. 41. Dating is something that cyclically disheartens me, which can be quite frustrating. But I loved being reminded in these scripture verses that I need to continue at it with diligence and patience. He concluded the session with an analogy of his grandchild wanting breakfast brought to him in bed instead of going out and helping his grandfather make the breakfast. Sometimes we just want Heavenly Father to deliver it to us, but we have to go out and work for it.

The other session which I have not yet spoken of was about healthy relationships. It was basically an overview of the book and course of How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk. We wrote on the board a list of traits that one would find in a jerk. And she pointed out that we have all been guilty of some of those traits ourselves. But then she reminded us that there is a difference between sometimes acting like a jerk (because we all make mistakes) and being a jerk (which is persistent resistance to change). Some of the things she breezed over were familiar to me because I've heard Sis. Snell talk about them. Indeed, I was hoping to get the book some time. Now I am determined to do so soon. Especially as it talks more about the Relationship Attachment Model and hopefully more about the 12 general areas of compatibility.

The relationship stuff was all good info, but what stood out the most to me were the necessary ingredients for change.
1. Insight (see that you need to change)
2. New information (research; read books that deal with this, etc.)
3. Deliberate Effort (and have a way to measure it)
4. Time (and forgiveness of self and others)

This is such a great list to have on hand for any and all the future times that change will need to take place in my life. But I loved that I was able to step back and look over the last 18 months of my life, particularly related to dating and social life. These 4 ingredients were emblazoned over those 18 months. I was finally ready to get back in the dating world, but I knew something wasn't working. I knew it was me, but I wasn't sure what it was about me. And then Sis. Snell entered my life. She was the beginning source for me to obtain new information. I've been reading her materials as well as articles and other books. My eyes were opened to so much and understanding was flowing in. But I think a huge reason it was able to flow in was because I was ready for change--I was embracing it. (Which was a very difficult thing for me only a few years ago.)

 I have certainly been making deliberate efforts. There are very, very few people in my life who truly understand just how difficult it has been for me to make those efforts. It is against my nature in so many ways, and light years from my comfort zone. But that was one of the things that needed changing. Not that I'm changing who I am, but that I needed to change some habits and views and behaviors in my efforts so that change could come about. And it has. So amazingly, it has. I still can't believe how far I've come in the last year when I took my first step into the scary, unknown darkness. Alone. And the Lord has greatly blessed me for those efforts. He continues to do so. Thus, when I have my disheartening moments, as I have been feeling a lot over the last week or two, I need to remember that 4th ingredient. Time. Forgive myself for the mistakes I have made and continue to make. Forgive others related to this in my past as well as presently. And be patient and diligent in that time as I keep on with my deliberate efforts. I can't have my breakfast brought to me. I have to go make it. I can and I will.

To end, I shall leave you with this quote that she gave, which I find absolutely brilliant: Love is a fulness to give, not an emptiness to fill.

Gospel Message Day 11

Conference Reflections

It didn't seem "right" to draw a topic from The Dog when I am bursting with topics and messages and feelings after this wonderful weekend of General Conference. Conference weekends are two of my very favorite times of the year. I am renewed and uplifted and ready to be a better person. I love it--nothing compares to feeling like this! So I wanted to share just a few things that are fresh on my mind.

(Please note: These are my personal notes of what I got from Conference. Personal notes = personal revelation: what the Spirit impressed on me was of use for me right now, and not necessarily what the speakers meant or even said. That's one of the best things about the Spirit and personal revelation. It is tailored to us.)

All the talks were, of course, very good. The messages were wonderful and timely. And I look forward to when all are available both electronically and in print so that I can further peruse and study them in depth. But right now, 3 talks stand out, and for 3 separate reasons.

Elder Jorg Klebingat's talk was so powerful in its straightforward, succinct message and delivery. The list he gave of how we can increase our peaceful assurance and spiritual confidence will be something I refer to often:
1. Take responsibility for your own spiritual well-being
2. Take responsibility for your own physical well-being.
3. Embrace voluntary, whole-hearted obedience. (Do the right things for the right reasons.)
4. Become really, really good at repenting thoroughly and immediately.
5. Become really, really good at forgiving. (Don't hold grudges; don't be easily offended.)
6. Accept trials, set backs, and "surprises" as they come. (Force a smile and gaze heavenward.)

Elder Richard G. Scott's talk was I think the talk most meant for me at this time in my life. He referred to struggles and challenges that we have. And while I do face my own right now, they are not quite debilitating as they have been previously. I am at a very good point in life and my outlook is pretty good. Things aren't exactly how I would wish and I am certainly enduring a lot of stress and disappointments. But I am filled with joy. Still, as Elder Scott gave us 4 tools to help us overcome challenges, the Spirit let me know that they were things I needed to work at being better at using.
1. Prayer. Make time every day to pray. Tell him everything that concerns you--the big things and the mundane.
2. Use/Study the scriptures and words of the living prophets.
3. Have (or in my case as a single adult attend) weekly Family Home Evening.
4. Go to the temple.
They are things I know about. And things I try to include in my life, and work at. But I feel that a solution to a lot of the things I'm dealing with will be answered and taken care of by re-focusing my efforts on these 4 simple things.

Elder Bednar's talk was so perfect considering what I am trying to do on this blog in this year: sharing  Gospel messages. He addressed his talk to those who are not members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, concerning why LDS members keep sharing their beliefs with those not of our faith. I grew up outside of Utah, where I was very much the minority in my faith. I would hope that those I was around knew that I was a member of the LDS Church, and would hope they didn't find me obnoxious in always talking about the Church and my beliefs. Honestly, the main reason I did then and do now is because I love them. And I want to share with them that which is most precious to me--which has brought me peace, joy, healing, and strength.

As Elder Bednar put it, our desire to share is a reflection of how important these truths are to us. And later, after a delightful story about his 2 sons, that I immediately want to share with others that which has helped me. Once the talk is available, I will link to it here. I strongly encourage you to read it, especially if you are one my friends who is not a member of the LDS Church. This talk fully explains why I want to share what I believe with you. Why I keep this blog. Why I am blogging 365 Gospel messages. So please don't take it as me being a nuisance, but an action of love for you. And for my Savior as well.

Selfie

I posted this on my family website tonight, but I wanted to post it here as well because of the personal and spiritual significance that it holds for me:

I didn't even know that "selfies" had a name until about a month ago. If you don't know, it's when you take a picture of yourself. I wasn't a big fan of those, mostly because the people I saw doing them took them because they were so full of themselves, and used the selfies to brag or beg for compliments. But I saw this video tonight, and I really liked the points that were made. I wanted to share, especially with the women in our family. I know what it's like to have personal insecurities, most particularly where it comes to my beauty (both inside and out). I think the women in our family are beautiful, and I wanted to share something to help in case any of you may struggle at times as I do. Because I realized as I watched this video, that over the last few years, I have taken more pictures of myself. Of course, it's with my actual camera since I have a dumb phone. And for 3 years the only way I would let myself in front of a camera without a human was to have a stuffed turtle present. But in the last couple of years, I have been able to take more of just me, sans Bob. As a single person, I don't feel my life shouldn't be documented of all the fun, wonderful experiences I get to have just because 1/2 the time it's just me experiencing them. I still have self-conscious, worried-I'm-getting-full-of-myself moments when I'm not comfortable having a picture of me taken (alone or with others). But there are now times that I don't mind it. And I have slowly been able to look at the pictures and I see one of the things I learned early on in the temple that I've spent years trying to bring outside of it: seeing myself as God sees me. And I really am a beautiful Daughter of God. Each one of us is a Child of God. Always remember that He doesn't just think you're beautiful. He knows you are. So it can't hurt for us to do a little more to help us know that for ourselves.

Repentance Analogy

The fabulous thing in writing a missionary, I'm always thinking of what spiritual things I can share with him. And at a time when I'm crazily busy and not as good at journal writing as I once was, this means that those spiritual thoughts are more likely to be written down. This past Sunday I came up with another analogy to share with Elder Little Brother, and I got it written down. So I wanted to share it here. (Again, I don't think he'd mind.)

My back has been hurting me for about 5 weeks. In the first week, any sitting aggravated it, and the pain would shoot up my back and to my shoulders and neck. My roommate has had back issues, and she thought I might be out of alignment. So we did a hip exercise and that relieved the pain from the shoulders and neck. However, the lower back would still hurt. But only when I was driving or in certain chairs at work.


I finally was able to go to the chiropractor on Friday. I was worried it might be something with a disc, but he did 4 tests and none of them showed it as a disc problem. Thank goodness!! Basically my hips were out of alignment (one leg was 3 inches shorter than the other!) and my lower back was "jacked up." (Doctor's words.) Heat, electricity, stretch, and a couple of pops. A little more to it than that, but either way he got me back to where I should be. But he did say that the pain will not immediately go away because my muscles have been inflamed and compensating and such and now need to heal. In the mean time, the doctor said the pain in the arch of my left foot since the New Year was most likely from the misalignment because while walking my legs are trying to compensate and I've been landing on my foot so as to aggravate the plantar something or other. It would make sense, as I spent the whole week of Christmas sleeping on the couch because my bed was covered with stuff. The back began to hurt when I slept again on the couch because all my clothes were on my bed drying (our dryer doesn't work well). Anyway, the chiro wrapped the arch to give it better support and build the arch back up. He'll check on how I'm doing on Tuesday.

This could just be a "[My sister's] getting old" story, but I actually got an analogy from it today. Sin and repentance. When we sin, we misalign ourselves from God's path. Even the littlest things, they change our alignment. And the pain or symptoms may be something small--we may not even know the cause. (I had thought my foot pain was either a muscle knot or a bone spur.) And often when we don't get the pain checked on (through personal prayer and self-reflection), we don't know what to do to fix the cause of the pain. Thus repentance does not occur.

Left untreated, the pain can get worse, especially if the sin keeps being committed. Eventually we get around to self-examination, prayer, scripture study. We are able to see what we are doing wrong. We are able to fix it. Sometimes we need the help of a doctor (or bishop) to fix the problem. As we're fixing it (and sometimes even after), there is pain as we are healing. Spiritually we've done a number to ourselves and it takes some time for the soul to heal. And it's helpful to keep careful watch of what we do, and how we do it, and even have the doctor (bishop) help us through the healing process and make sure we're on the right track.

I thought it was a pretty good analogy. :-) Especially as I'm currently in the pain from muscles trying to heal. And I have very much known that spiritual pain when I am repenting and trying to fix what I have been doing wrong. But when it is through, and we are aligned again, we are wiser, more careful, more grateful, and healed. It is such a wonderful feeling!

Repentance truly is a gift.

Some Great Thing

"As persecutions came and Joseph fled the mob at Nauvoo in 1844, Hyrum went with him. As they stood on the bank of the river, contemplating whether to return, Joseph turned to Hyrum and said, 'You are the oldest, what shall we do?'

"'Let us go back and give ourselves up and see the thing out,' Hyrum replied.

"They returned to Nauvoo and were taken to Carthage, where they died as martyrs within minutes of one another. Hyrum had been faithful to his trust even to the laying down of his life. In all respects he was a disciple of the Savior. But his day-to-day striving made him truly great. In contrast, Oliver Cowdery was great when handling the plates and being attended to by angels, but when called upon to faithfully endure day-to-day trials and challenges, Oliver faltered and fell away from the Church.

"We do not prove our love for the Savior only by doing 'some great thing.' If the prophet personally asked you to go on a mission to some strange and exotic place, would you go? You would probably make every effort to go. But what about paying tithing? What about doing your home teaching? We show our love for the Savior by doing the many small acts of faith, devotion, and kindness to others that define our character."

James E. Faust, "Some Great Thing," Ensign, Nov. 2001, 48

This is precisely how I feel concerning the way we should be living the Gospel. An absolute "Amen!" from me.

Reach for Your Potential--But Don't Beat Yourself Over the Head with It

"Don't judge yourself by what you understand of your potential. Trust in the Lord and what He can do with your dedicated heart and willing mind (see D&C 64:34). Order your life more effectively and eliminate trivia, meaningless detail, and activity. They waste the perishable, fixed, and limited resource of time. Choose to emphasize those matters that have an eternal consequence.

"Permanent, worthwhile growth is attainable, but not without great effort and the honest application of truth. Worthy accomplishment is founded in integrity. Righteousness is fundamental to happiness and desirable attainment. Righteousness is rooted in a pure heart. And indeed it protects one from contamination and the filth of the world. Righteous love is the supreme motivation for constructive change. The examples of our Father in Heaven and the Savior and Their teachings are the perfect source of motivation and direction for life."

Richard G. Scott, "Making the Right Choices" (CES fireside for young adults, Jan. 13, 2002), 4


My word--if this isn't exactly what I've been needing to hear for months! I have a terrible time in not just being extremely hard on myself, but also in expecting too much from myself. And too much too soon. I believe in progression, but I forget "line upon line, precept upon precept" (Doc & Cov 98:12). This quote is so comforting and inspiring to me. It provides simple yet perfect and doable guidelines. I think in so many ways I try to do that, but I try to do too much at once and berate myself for not succeeding at the impossible task I set before myself. Which is why the most meaningful part of this quote to me--right now--is where Elder Scott counseled, "Trust in the Lord and what He can do with your dedicated heart and willing mind." If I offer the desire and determination, and go one step at a time, then I can trust in and know that the Lord will make of me what He would, not as I would.

"Ought Not to Be"

This talk of Elder Holland's was one of those that I knew was completely meant for me. It was both a chastisement for a seriously terrible fault as well as a consolation to a wounded soul. This particular quote addresses a problem of mine which I always have to be mindful of and must work at annihilating from my life/personality/actions altogether.

"The sin of verbal abuse knows no gender. Wives, what of the unbridled tongue in your mouth, of the power for good or ill in your words? How is it that such a lovely voice which by divine nature is so angelic, so close to the veil, so instinctively gentle and inherently kind could ever in a turn be so shrill, so biting, so acrid and untamed? A woman's words can be more piercing than any dagger ever forged, and they can drive the people they love to retreat beyond a barrier more distant than anyone in the beginning of that exchange could ever have imagined. Sisters, there is no place in that magnificent spirit of yours for acerbic or abrasive expression of any kind, including gossip or backbiting or catty remarks. Let it never be said of our home or our ward or our neighborhood that 'the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity . . . [burning] among our members.' "

Jeffrey R. Holland, "The Tongue of Angels," Ensign, May 2007, 17