LDS Hymn #206

Hymn #206 - Away in a Manger

(If that arrangement does not give you chills, I may have to think your musical ear and spirit are dead.)

I have so many, many favorites in things. Countless. It kind of discredits the word "favorite." Nevertheless, Away in a Manger may possibly be one of my favorite Christmas songs. I love how much of a lullaby it is. I love the setting of the nativity scene in verse 1 and 2. I love how, to me, it feels like those 2 verses are so appropriate if Mary or Joseph were to sing about this amazing, newborn baby. But what I absolutely love the most is the 3rd verse and our pleading to the Savior as a child--very fitting since we are the children of God.

I think what really makes this song hit hymn is the tune--at least the one used in the 1985 hymnal. The one they used to have us sing in schools slightly annoyed me. The Primary version--though the chorus be quite the fun--is similar to that tune and annoys me even more! I get that both tunes are probably better for children's voices. But the one in the hymnal is so much more soothing, tender, and lullaby-ish. Really good for adult voices, particularly ones that can't go as high as they once might have been. (No, I am not referring to myself, though have spent many years dreading when my voice will inevitably not be able to sing the way it can right now.) The irony in how much I love the tune in the hymnal is that I have the choir singing this song for Christmas--to an entirely different tune!

From the history book
No known history of the text. Some thought it was Martin Luther, but it first appeared in print in the United States, not Germany. Ahhh! I love this: "the hymn tune Cradle Song by William J. Kirkpatrick was chosen for our hymnal because of its dignity and simplicity." Agreed! It is simple and dignified. And how appropriate that its name tends to evoke thoughts of a lullaby. I sometimes forget that the shift from the nativity scene to a child's please happens halfway through Verse 2. And the book's author points out that it isn't too great a shift if one thinks about a child seeing how Jesus is disturbed from his sleeping yet does not cry, and that they plead he will stay with them so that they can sleep.

Lyrics

1. 1. Away in a manger, no crib for his bed,
   The little Lord Jesus laid down his sweet head;
   The stars in the heavens looked down where he lay,
   The little Lord Jesus, asleep on the hay.
2. 2. The cattle are lowing; the poor baby wakes,
   But little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes.
   I love thee, Lord Jesus; look down from the sky
   And stay by my cradle till morning is nigh.
3. 3. Be near me, Lord Jesus; I ask thee to stay
   Close by me forever, and love me, I pray.
   Bless all the dear children in thy tender care,
   And fit us for heaven to live with thee there.
4. Text: Anon., ca. 1883, Philadelphia
   Music: William J. Kirkpatrick, 1838-1921; harmonized by Rosalee Elser,1925-2007. (c) 1980 Rosalee Elser.

My Unsung Lullaby is Still Being Sung

After attending my ward's church services today, I headed off to a missionary's "homecoming." I baby-sat him and his siblings 18 years ago. It's the first time I've seen most of the family in almost just as much time.

As I drove, I needed some music. I turned to the Classical station, and caught the last part of Music and the Spoken Word. I heard the women singing words that were immediately familiar to me. The irony is that in the 3 or 4 measures it took me to place where and how I knew the song, I was already in tears because of how much I knew I loved the song. I sang it just this past Christmas with the Sterling Singers. I cried the first day we rehearsed it in August. And many, many times after that. For a Christmas song, we changed the words to the 3rd verse to be more about the Savior.

Still, this song has reached around and into my heart in so many ways over the few months we practiced and sang it. But a new meaning came to me today when I heard Lullaby arranged by Ryan Murphy. The Spirit whispered to me that the 3rd verse refers to all who have lost children, whether they were living or not. This song included me.

When I was a teenager, I had a very spiritual experience that with time has become clearer to me. I was in my room preparing for church, and I was listening to Michael McLean's Stay With Me.


And I felt someone touch me. There was no one there. But I felt the presence of spiritual beings with me in my room. At the time, I was impressed that it was the spirit of one of my future children, touching me to comfort me, because one day I would lose one of my children. But now I can see that it was because I would lose several of them.

Not actual children who have been born. But the dream and hope of them. As medical issues arose, and marriage prospects got further away, I had to face facts that my 10 longed-for children would never be. I may not be old, but I ain't that young either. Throw the medical stuff into the balance, and I have a very limited window that grows smaller with time. Generally I live my life and do not let these broken dreams debilitate me. I love my life and am grateful for the countless things I have been blessed with.

But Mother's Day is a really hard day for those of us women who dreamed of our children and watch our dreams shatter one by one, year by year. I love the "mother" talks by Sheri Dew, Julie Beck, and many others that talk of how we are all mothers in our many roles, whether or not we have our own children. I believe that, I love it, and I try to live it. But it isn't quite the same and it cannot erase the vestige of pain that remains.

So it was sweet and helped me feel less alone, less unheard, and less misunderstood when the Spirit let me know that our Heavenly Father, our Heavenly Mother,  and our Savior weep with us for the little ones that do not hear the mother song we so dearly wish to sing. In hearing Lullaby, the Spirit was comforting me, because this is one of my trials. Yes, I believe that my Savior can do all things and could find me my husband now (or years ago) and take away my medical iffy-ness to allow us "easy access" to children. But that would also take away so many chances for my growth in spirit, mind, emotion, and testimony. I trust the Lord, and I trust His plan for me.

So there I was, yet again sobbing through Lullaby, this time for my children that I have lost. The Spirit gave me my time to mourn, but still kept reminded me of those wonderful mother talks. Reminding me again of the wonderful blessing put in the stead of my, for now, unfulfilled dreams. I may mourn the loss of my children, but every day I give thanks for the many, many children in my life time who have allowed me to fill in those gaps by playing some degree of a mothering role in their lives. Thank you for letting me sing my lullaby to you.



Lullaby
Lyrics are a Poem by Eugene Hunter:
The stars are twinkling in the skies,
The earth is lost in slumbers deep;
So hush, my sweet, and close thine eyes,
And let me lull thy soul to sleep.
Compose thy dimpled hands to rest,
And like a little birdling lie
Secure within thy cozy nest
Upon my loving mother breast,
And slumber to my lullaby,
So hushaby--O hushaby.

The moon is singing to a star
The little song I sing to you;
The father sun has strayed afar,
As baby's sire is straying too.
And so the loving mother moon
Sings to the little star on high;
And as she sings, her gentle tune
Is borne to me, and thus I croon
For thee, my sweet, that lullaby
Of hushaby--O hushaby.

There is a little one asleep
That does not hear his mother's song;
But angel watchers--as I weep--
Surround his grave the night-tide long.
And as I sing, my sweet, to you,
Oh, would the lullaby I sing--
The same sweet lullaby he knew
While slumb'ring on this bosom too--
Were borne to him on angel's wing!
So hushaby--O hushaby. 

Gospel Message Day 365

Freedom to Choose

This ties in with yesterday's post really well. But it is another one that I'm sure I've covered before. One of the greatest gifts we have had as Children of God is the power to choose for ourselves. We have had this power since the world began, as we were able to choose whose plan we wanted--Christ's or the adversary's. If you've made it to the Earth then you chose Christ's plan. You weren't forced. It was your choice.

And ever since we came to Earth our choices have been ours. Well, OK, as very young children our parents made choices for us. But they were choices our parents thought were for our benefit--to help us grow and to learn. It isn't fair to expect a new child who is learning to act and choose for themselves to be accountable for those choices. They are still learning what is right and what is wrong. (Which is why our role in children's lives is crucial to help teach them.) Still, even as they are learning wise parents, family, leaders, teachers, etc. allow children to make choices for themselves so they can learn about consequences of choices. Right choices bring the good consequences. Wrong choices bring the bad consequences.

Then at 8 the children are accountable for their own choices. If they choose wrong, it is upon their heads. That still seems like a pretty young age. But guess what? Those parents, family, leaders, teachers, etc. are still there to help teach those children about repentance. Not that the child should feel that it's OK to do wrong, they'll just repent later. Over these years before and after 8 they need to be taught what the deeper consequences are to wrong choices, and why obedience is such a great blessing--not a hinderance.

Still, whether a Child of God chooses to be obedient or not, chooses the right or the wrong, it is still their great privilege and gift to make that choice. They are not forced to do anything. Whether they had people teach them right from wrong or not, they will always have the Spirit. If they are not a baptized member, the Spirit is their conscience. Their shoulder angel, if you will. :-) What they choose to do with that conscience--listen or ignore--will lead to how much the Spirit will bring guidance. Members of the LDS Church are given the gift of the Holy Ghost. With righteous living and choices, we are able to call upon His guidance, comfort, or testimony at any time, for we are blessed to have the Spirit with us always.

And all of this? All of this being able to choose in this life? It is because Adam and Eve chose to take of the fruit that had been forbidden to them. It is because they chose to bring mankind to the earth to let each of us have our own opportunity to work out our own salvation. Next to the Spirit and Christ's Atonement, I don't think there is any greater gift.

2 Nephi 2:27

Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.

Gospel Message Day 148

Creation, Part 3

I think one of the most marvelous parts about the Creation still occurs today--the creation of man. In the Creation story of Genesis (chapter 1), the Creation was not complete until man was created. And all the things that were created were good, but man is more in Heavenly Father's eyes, as He said in more modern revelation to "remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God" (Doctrine and Covenants 18:10).

Creating Adam and Eve was the initial creation of the human race. But the human race continues to be created. Humans have been endowed with God's power to create, which is the greatest power He could give to His children. Heavenly Father views the creation of bodies for His spirit children as very important, and expects us to give it the reverence and respect that it deserves. This is why there are such strict laws surrounding that power. Laws which unfortunately are not followed by many in this day. Still, in the LDS Church we believe in those laws and support them and abide by them.

I looked up to see what some of our brethren have said, and I couldn't pick just one or two things from this site, so I'm sharing all of it. Sorry--it's perfectly worded! I'm not a blind obedience follower. I test and pray about what they teach. And the Spirit speaks the truth of it to me. So forgive me that there are times that I don't put what they say into my own words, since what they said is so much better in the original:

“You live in a world where moral values have, in great measure, been tossed aside, where sin is flagrantly on display, and where temptations to stray from the strait and narrow path surround you,” President Thomas S. Monson says. “Many are the voices telling you that you are far too provincial or that there is something wrong with you if you still believe there is such a thing as immoral behavior. . . . Does this make immoral behavior acceptable? Absolutely not! The commandments of our Heavenly Father are not negotiable!”

Essential to God’s Plan

“The power of creation—or may we say procreation—is not just an incidental part of the plan,” says President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. “Without it the plan could not proceed. The misuse of it may disrupt the plan. . . . Protect and guard your gift. Your actual happiness is at stake.”

Immorality cannot be made right by making it popular, President Packer continues. “The Lord’s standard of morality commands that the sacred powers to beget life be protected and employed only between man and woman, husband and wife. To misuse this power is exceeded in seriousness only by the shedding of innocent blood and denying the Holy Ghost.”

A Higher Standard

“Could any of us lightly regard precious seeds of reproduction—specifically and uniquely yours—or disregard the moral laws of God, who gave divine rules concerning their sacred use?” Elder Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles asks. “While the world descends to the level of concern for ‘safe sex,’ your standard is sacred sex—within the bounds of holy matrimony as intended by the Lord.”

We can know what standards of moral conduct are right and wrong by following the Spirit, Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles says. “These promptings never will lead you to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, unclean, or ashamed. You must be sensitive to these promptings because your physical passions can obscure them if you are not careful.”

“To ensure you keep this sacred commandment [to remain morally clean], in moments of quiet reflection when you feel the influence of the Holy Ghost, set specific personal standards of what you will do and what you will not do when temptation comes—for it surely will,” Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles says. “No one intends to make serious mistakes. They come when you compromise your standards to be more accepted by others. You be the strong one. You be the leader. Choose good friends and resist peer pressure together.”

Commanded by God

One of many reasons for us to avoid immorality is that God has commanded us to do so, Elder Scott says. “Any sexual intimacy outside of the bonds of marriage—and I emphasize that means any involvement of the sacred, private parts of the body—is a sin and is forbidden by God. While the world has other standards, you must stay morally clean.”

“In matters of human intimacy, you must wait!” Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles says. “You must wait until you can give everything, and you cannot give everything until you are legally and lawfully married. . . . On your wedding day the very best gift you can give your eternal companion is your very best self—clean and pure and worthy of such purity in return.”

Co-Creators with Heavenly Father

Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles teaches that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are creators by nature and that They have “entrusted us with a portion of Their creative power and provided specific guidelines for the proper use of that sacred ability to create life and establish an eternal family.” He continues, “How we feel about and use that sacred power in this life will determine in large measure whether additional creative power will be ours in the life to come.”

“The most sacred of all our divine powers is to become a co-creator with Heavenly Father in providing physical bodies for His spirit sons and daughters and in establishing a righteous and Christ-centered family,” Elder Bednar says. “Nothing is more holy; nothing deserves more reverence; nothing is more central to the plan of happiness.”

But lest you think the only Creation occurring still today is children, here is another quote from Elder Nelson's talk that explains we have more responsibilities:

We are to be creators in our own right—builders of an individual faith in God, faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and faith in His Church. We are to build families and be sealed in holy temples. We are to build the Church and kingdom of God upon the earth. We are to prepare for our own divine destiny—glory, immortality, and eternal lives. These supernal blessings can all be ours, through our faithfulness.

With Friends

Day 215

It is not always wise to hang out with friends in the middle of the week. Because it very likely will lead to a late night. And when everyone in the party has work the following morning, well, we all know how we're going to feel the next day. But it is very much worth it. Especially for me, as I don't have many opportunities to be social right now.

I am grateful for each time the Lord gives me to spend with friends.

Today's Smile: We had another Toddler Play Hour at work. Our last for the summer since storytime will begin in the fall. And much to my sorrow I have been asked to really focus on the teens this fall and not do any storytimes. It makes since, as for another few months we have 3 other children's librarians. By winter or so there will be just the 2 of us and I'll have my chance to work closely with the preschoolers and toddlers again. But what sadness for the few months I'll be separated from them. Especially when one of my favorite little guys came in with his mom (who is expecting #2 in Sept. and which I did not know!), and when he saw me his wonderful, only-he-could-give smile spread across his little face. It made my heart so happy that he remembers me and that he still smiles when he sees me. How I wish I could give such smiles every day and all day.

Today's Something New: I learned how the Aboriginal phone call works! All of those years of knowing it could make the sound, but not knowing the "trick" or science behind it. Now I do. Nifty stuff! Thanks, Mad Science program. I wish I could have stayed in for the rest of it and learned more.

Dearest Children

Day 31

I could have have chosen today's gratitude as having a paid day of not having to work but instead being fed lunch and going to so fun mini-classes about various things (like digital scrapbooking!).

And I am grateful for that.

I could have chosen today's gratitude as discovering a shared love of Period Dramas and enjoying the squeals and oh mys over certain aspects of them.

And I am grateful for that.

But I have to choose for today's gratitude the receipt of a most happy "letter." My 3 favorite storytime attenders. Adorable sisters who made the storytime for me when they would show up. Each one either wrote me a letter or drew pictures and dictated what they mean. And the wonderful mother included a couple of pictures of them. It was so wonderful receiving that and it still makes me happy when I see them on the refrigerator. I am not blessed with marriage and children, yet. Some day, I do hope. But for now, I find my joy in children from my nieces and nephews, and from the wonderful children I get to work with at my job. It was one of the hardest things for me to leave at the last job. So it means a lot to have a sweet little girl write to me and tell me I was her favorite librarian, and have a mother thank me for how I have helped her children.

The greatest thanks is that the Lord knew how much I wanted to work with children, and that "in due time" He granted such a great blessing for me.

I can bear it

Day 89

In my lifestyle (food, exercise, goals, etc) changing, I've reached the last step/strategy of whatever stage I'm on. And it was interesting that this step was about emotional eating. If you've been reading my 2010 Joy and Gratitude Every Day, you may have noticed a bit of that on my part. :-) I have. It's so obvious--all of that chocolate! Of course, with me, "chocolate" means "chocolate-flavored items." Typically. And that's what it has been over the last 2 months. So I was gratefull that this strategy talked about emotional eating because I have known that even though it hasn't been extremely detrimental or knocked me off of my goals and changes, it recently has played a big part of my life.

I've had various thoughts about things going on in my life--the things triggering the stress. Yet I haven't set too much thought to them because I've been too busy to. But the strategy talked about addressing the issues. It said:

The root of emotional eating often lies in bigger picture questions. Are you going through a stressful period at work, at home, with your marriage, or in some other way? Have you had a recent failure that is crushing your self-esteem? Are you unhappy with your day-to-day life? Have you gone through a traumatic experience, such as a death, divorce, bankruptcy or layoff?

There may be plenty of wonderful things happening to me every day, but I still have my moments. It is not sunny every minute of my life. Rain still comes. And sometimes it comes in torrential thunderstorms. But thankfully at this present time in my life I've been more easily able to find the silver linings of the thunderclouds and learned to dance in the rain (and around the lightning!) until the sun decides to peek back out.

So I thought for this slightly more personal post, I would mention a few of the difficult things I have been facing, and then pull out the Joy & Gratitude part at the end. Part of the reason being so that I can admit, face, and work out some of the issues. And maybe part of it to help any readers who are going through a hard time. I know what it's like to feel like you're suffocating from your trials and will never make it back up for air. Which is why in my current blessing of immense peace and happiness, I want to help others find snatches of air until they can make it completely out and take the deep, calm, wonderful breaths for themselves.

Are you going through a stressful period at work, at home, with your marriage, or in some other way?

Ha ha ha--did you really just ask that? That was my first thought when I read the strategy. And it's funny that when I step back, I realize how even more stressed I am!

at work - yep! That's a definite. But as I've mentioned more than once here, it is a happy stress. It is quite fulfilling to do what I do in my new job, and I see my efforts come to happy fruition right in front of my eyes. The worries I started out with are slowly ebbing away, and the various things I'm nervous about in the near/distant/unknown future I know I will be able to work through as they come. I am surrounded by smiles when I work, and I find it so easy to smile myself. I never run out of things to do. I never get bored. I never start to fall asleep in my tasks. And my co-workers have easily accepted that I'm just a little on the crazy side and whole-heartedly accept me for my silly giddiness, constant talking to myself, and occasional visits from a stuffed turtle or smiles at a puppet elephant.

at church - you bet! Trying to fill responsibilities of my own, trying to make up for the responsibilities others are not filling but which need to be filled or there is much suffering, trying to improve my social relations with ward members, trying to attend tmy many meetings, and, well, pretty much trying to do what I'm supposed to do. I don't really mind doing what I'm supposed to be doing. But even the general duties bring a general stress, and it can be very wearing upon me. I'm grateful the Lord always supports me in what I have to do.

in marriage/relationships - ohhhhh yes. I never thought so many sorrows and hardships could come in so many different ways in one particular area. But they can. And such sorrows and hardships bring--of course--stress.

at home - mm-hmm! The tiny things that I've learned to put up with over the last year+ are really not that bad. As long as I have someone to vent to, they rarely bother me. It's the having to pack all my belongings (again!) and move (again!) to a new place while all of this other stress is occurring in my life. And mentally trying to work out how to arrange all of this financially so that the financial stress stays low and all of the progress I've made over the last 18 months will not regress or stagnate.

Have you gone through a traumatic experience, such as a death, divorce, bankruptcy or layoff?

Well, all right. Nothing like that which is mentioned. And what I am going through might not seem traumatic to some. But it is for me. Wouldn't you consider it traumatic when your entire life's plans are taken from you and every day is nothing as you expected or had hoped for or would wish for now? So you learn how to live each new day. And you are wary of ever making plans again. And you sometimes despair of having dreams fulfilled. And you endure the suffocating loneliness. And you get by without any hugs. And you try to find ways to have a fulfilling life when it feels the measure of your creation and point of your existence is falling very short of the mark. And you accept the terrible losses. Yes. I may not have suffered a death in the normal sense. But every year, I lose another child. And those are extremely hard losses for me. Some times, they seem unbearable.

And yet, I do bear them. I bear all of them. The trials, the sorrows, the heartaches, the stresses. But I am only able to bear them because I have a Savior who bore them for me. He suffered these things, so He knows how to succor me. He knows how to comfort me, and lift me, and bring me peace and joy. And He not only knows it, but He does it.

Are you unhappy with your day-to-day life?

Absolutely not. Because I have a Savior--my one true friend who is always and will always be there for me. And He makes my day-to-day life wonderfully splendid!

Cherish Every Moment

Remember that one of the main purposes of traditional marriage is to bring life into this world. Only a mother and father could truly know what these parents have felt. 

[from my online journal]:

Saw this on my sister-in-law's blog. You may have been misty-eyed, Me., but I broke right down into lots tears. Of course, I always was a crier--among family and in non-public settings. Thanks for sharing it. I had to do so, too! So much we can gain from it.

One Reason Why I Want to be a Mother

My friend just posted this on her blog. I was raised to believe and view this of motherhood. It is why it's the second greatest desire I have in my life. I try so hard not to ask "When will it be my turn?" and worry that this great blessing will never be part of my life. But I know all is according to the Lord's will.

I had to share the quote:

"Oh that God would give every mother a vision of the glory and splendor of the work that is given to her when a babe is placed in her bosom to be nursed and trained! Could she have but one glimpse into the future of that life as it reaches on into eternity; could she look into its soul to see its possibilities, could she be made to understand her own personal responsibility for the training of this child, for the developments of its life, and for its destiny, - she would see that in all God's world there is no other work so noble and so worthy of her best powers, and she would commit to no other hands the sacred and holy trust given to her."

-J.R. Miller, Home-Making (orig. pub. 1882)