Gospel Message Day 172

Law of Chastity, Part 3

So, I was thinking today about the video I shared yesterday. It reminds me of The Talk (and yes, the talk was on chastity) our Bishop in my Young Single Adult (YSA) ward at Brigham Young Univiersity (BYU) would give us every semester. In his talk, he told the story about a stagecoach company that was looking to hire a driver. There were 3 candidates. The owner asked told the men about one part of the route in a mountain passage that had a very sharp curve with a steep, deadly cliff off the side. The first driver said that he could drive the route and get this close to the edge. The second driver said he could drive it, and get even closer. But the 3rd driver said that he would stay as close to the mountain wall and as far away from the cliff edge as possible. The 3rd driver was hired.

This is similar to the video which mentioned a boat near a waterfall. The principle is that there is an edge, and you need to do what you can to stay as far away from it as possible. The question should never be "how far can I go?" Or, as John Bytheway rephrased that in one of his talks, that's asking "How bad can I be?" Don't do anything that will take you closer to the edge. Set up personal boundaries, pray about them, and then live them.

But there was one thing I realized today that people need to see. No where do those lessons tell you to not drive the stagecoach, or ride in the boat. Physical attraction is natural and expressing those feelings can be a beautiful part of a relationship. However, the physical expression should not be the main focus of any relationship (before or after marriage), and there should be limits and boundaries before marriage to keep the relationship in a safe place--safe spiritually and physically, as well as keeping the relationship from being focused on the wrong thing. But there still should be some kind of expression. It is not bad to hold hands, or to genuinely and lovingly show other forms of affection. I think it's a really good thing to know if the physical attraction and chemistry is present in a relationship. So include physical affection. But don't get carried away. Don't get yourself confused. Don't cross boundaries. And don't get close to the edge.