Be Ye Therefore Perfect

Day 27

In Institute this evening, we talked more of something mentioned briefly last week. It's something that means a lot to me right now, as in the last two(+) years I was recovering from doing just such a thing to myself.

Perfection.

We're supposed to strive for it. Try to be so.

But even with all our efforts, we will never reach perfection in this life. It is absolutely impossible. It's one of the reasons for the Savior's Atonement. We try, do, and live as best as we can to reach up in being obedient in keeping the commandments, and then the Savior reaches down to grasp our hand. That grasp connects us not only to perfection, but is our way to the rest of our perfection as He will pull us the rest of the way. Our journey to perfection is impossible on our own. Every one needs the Atonement for so many reasons, perfection being one of them.

And yet, as my teacher mentioned, "too many of us get caught up on this idea of perfection." We beat ourselves for not being perfect, or as perfect as we perceive others to be, or for not progressing fast enough or well enough in our strive for perfection. And this, of course, is ridiculous for us since we will never be perfect in this life! Even the Savior in this life did not refer to himself as perfect. Matthew 5:48, when the Savior was living a mortal life, records the Savior saying, "Ye are commanded to be perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." Yet after He was resurrected and visiting the ancient Americas, 3 Nephi 12:48 records His teaching now to be, "Therefore I would that ye should be perfect even as I or your Father who is in heaven is perfect." Not until after the Atonement and His resurrection would the Savior--He who lived a perfect life--refer to Himself as perfect. So, if the Savior didn't refer to Himself as so in this life, why are we beating up ourselves for something that is impossible?

Of course, it's not that we should just give up. We still need to keep pressing forward and living righteously. We just need to stop comparing ourselves to others. Or setting ridiculous expectations of ourselves. I was very guilty of both, and they are still things I struggle with. But in October 2008, when I was told to read chapter 6 in Preach My Gospel concerning attributes of Christ, I plummeted into deep darkness as I reviled myself for being so unlike Christ, and so not like other people who were so much better than me. For not being where I thought I should or could have been.

I was so caught up in how awful I was, it was difficult for me to do what I should have done: accept the weaknesses and then press forward trying to make them strengths. No. Instead, I listened to the adversary and kept berating myself for what a terrible person I was. Now I can look back and see how wrong I was to act and react like that. And it seems so easy to say "Don't do that. Just realize what is wrong and work harder to get better." But trust me. Having been there and deep in that, I know how easy it didn't feel then.

But I have a wonderful Savior, and His wonderful disciples, all of whom helped me slowly get out of what I had put myself into. It took a lot of conscious work and effort. And I still had my regressive moments. But for the second time in my life, I truly gained an appreciation, understanding, and actualization of the power of the Atonement as I began to allow the Savior to use it to bring me back up.

Hearing my teacher talk about perfection, I was able to testify in my heart to myself. Yes. I cannot be perfect in this life. And I need to stop being an idiot by beating myself up over it. (Which, right now, I'm not, but I need to be wary because it is so easy for me to do.) I just need to do as Elder Christofferson counseled at the recent CES fireside: live one day at a time.

If I live every day to the best of my ability, then I am moving toward perfection the way I am intended to. If I make a mistake, which I am bound and guaranteed to do, then I pick myself up again, repent, and keep moving toward my Father and my Savior. Don't get caught up over the mistakes, the weaknesses, or the lacking. Just keep doing what I know is right. And once in a while, if I happen to glance back, I will see that I really am progressing, and know that the Lord is happy with what I'm doing. (And if I bring along some people with me, so much the better!)

It was wonderful to hear this in class, and make my personal connections about it, and I'm grateful for all the Lord has helped me through and to for me to be at this point at this time.