More than One

Day 108

My trip to the temple has set a need for pondering things. And what I rarely have now is time to ponder. Which is sad. Because thinking (as I call it) is so beneficial for me. Healing in many cases. Uplifting, inspiring, enlightening, and renewing as well. Yes, all things that--as we learned in Relief Society today--the Holy Ghost helps us with. While I knew I wouldn't get much, I still knew I needed some time alone. Real alone time. So I left for church very early and went walking in the quiet neighborhood by the church building.

It was the perfect weather for a walk, and (as you must know by know) how I love a walk!

I only just got started on my ponderings, but that was expected. This is not anything that will go away in a day or two. But I had hoped the walk would put me in a more pleasant attitude for others to be around. It was close to working. Then as I waited for choir to start, I began reading the April Ensign. I read the wrong article. It started mentioning every thought and reasoning I'd been having with some particular trials. The tears that came so fast were quelled just as quickly, what with the public setting and needing to compose myself to begin choir. But I now wonder--was it the wrong article to read? Or was it a right one? And if so, exactly what was right about it that I should be getting from it? I don't want to misinterpret the spirit in this.

Whatever the case, I'm grateful there is an abundance of sources (current ones, too!) that always find some way to help me with my trials.

It did help that two people sensed I needed a hug. And one mentioned my solo a few days ago. And one who could see my the pain in my eyes came to sit by me, probably unaware of how depressed I get when I sit alone. And another complimented me on what I was wearing. And another offered me the last of a bag of chips I really like. And one or two just ignored anything that might have come out a little less sweetly than it should. And two waited patiently until I was a bit more myself and never alluded to my difficulties.

And in these little things that no one had any idea of their effect, I found it to be a bit more easier to endure the turmoil inside.

Plus I have found a small project in my family history that will take a bit of time! Good, worthwhile time of course. But a whole list of names from a tree on Ancestry and so far I'm not finding them on new Family Search. I'm doing what I can to double check names, dates, records, etc. and make things accurate. But could it be that I've found eight people who have been "forgotten" and with no one out there tracing them? Or at least a lost connection within my own family that I can try to reconnect?

I do love finding family!