Athletics vs Anxieties

Day 107

We had an activity this evening that sent every one of my social anxieties into high gear. It's awful when I know what's wrong, and I know the solution (leave), but I can't really do that (oh--that awful having to be supportive and sociable and responsible and....urg!!) and I've never been able to master the alternative (staying) gracefully or cheerfully. It was very, very hard. Yet, of course, I'm the one who comes off as grouchy, immature, ornery and the who-in-the-world-wants-to-be-around-her person. Luckily, one thing came up that often works in helping me to get over at least the scared-coming-off-as-grouchy aspect--playing a sport I enjoy.

Yes. OK. So it took me ten minutes (and the help and support of my great, understanding, non-visiting teaching friend) to work up the courage and calm down the nervousness to even get on that field and play. And even then I almost chickened out. But I soon was able to lose myself in the playing. It unfortunately had to end and I had to deal with the social anxieties once more when we returned to the house. But at least after the game, it wasn't as bad.

I'm grateful I had my favorite sport to help me to whatever degree in pulling me out of my social misery.