Ending on a Clea[n] Note

Day 365--The Last Day of 2010!

It's an odd joy. Especially for the last day of the year.

But considering what the last 16 days have been...

...poor health

...long-distance apartment hunting

...packing

...running around all over the place

...claustrophobia in my own home

...things to do, things to do, things to do.

It is so relieving to have everything packed, in piles ready for loading, and the floors vacuumed.

Miss

Day 364

It was a difficult dinner, because I had to say good-bye to friends I have made and loved over the last 3 years. But it was also a very uplifting and flattering night (though this is going to sound as if I'm bragging about myself). I was told that more people RSVPed to my farewell dinner (and donated money for a farewell fund/party) than anyone else has had before. And when I look at the 18 people who were there and know of at least 6 more people who couldn't make it because of being sick or on vacation, it leaves a tender mark in my heart.

Because I really was loved at my job--for what I did, and for who I am.

Nice to See You

Day 363

Well, I may have felt horrible. And trying to figure out if this is a cold or the flu. So, the last thing I wanted to do was see people.

But I'm still grateful I was able to see some friends whom I was worried I wouldn't get to see before I moved.

Before the First is Over

Day 362

Well, if this is a second cold coming on, I'm grateful for tissues, hand sanitizer, food, and my afghan to snuggle up with.

Rubber Ducky

Day 361

An unanticipated day off which aided in having more time for packing while still having moments of fun and relaxation (aka "watching movies") was quite a happy thing.

But there was something that trumped that. I was given some bath things for Christmas. You know--bubbles, salts, caviar (huh?), etc. Things I never have at my disposal. Indeed, I even had to look them up just to know the difference between them all. But this was a perfect present, especially as I'd been wanting to take a bath. All of this stress, sickness, packing, move prepping, etc.....I just needed something relaxing and de-stressing. Baths help. Period dramas with the baths are great.

However, adding in some of my Christmas present? Oh my whoa. It was so different. I can't describe it.

But I am loving that I still feel calm, relaxed, and just...fabulous!

P.S. And I will admit that I am a little embarrassed that I so "publicly" talked about taking a bath, but it was the joy for today!

Joy & Gratitude

Day 360

It has been a very, very snowy day.

I've been loving it! Lots of snow, and barely anyone going out to mar it by driving or anything. The back lot behind the apartments is off limits to anyone, so it is still completely untouched.

And absolutely, gorgeously breath-taking!

I love it. I love new-fallen snow. Lots of it.

The world covered in white always makes me think of the Savior.

Which right now reminds me of my birthday gift (aka promise) to Him. I've been thinking throughout the day on what mine should be for this upcoming year. But it also put me in mind of what it has been this past year--writing down a joy/gratitude every day. I think my original intention was that I believed doing so would help me in recounting the Lord's tender mercies, cultivating a more positive attitude, and not just being more grateful but also acknowledging my gratitude and for what I the gratitude was for.

I was not wrong, and because of that I know even more that this promise was inspired by the Lord. This was one of the most uplifting, best kept, and most obviously rewarding promise I have yet given my Savior. Months ago I thought about continuing on. I've tried this recording in my gratitude journal, and was successful in spurts at various times. But something about putting it here--where any one could read it and thus making me more accountable in completing the task. It has made so many differences in my life.

And the promise overall has been one immense Joy and Gratitude for the entire year.

Believe

Day 359

It is Christmas!!!!! I love this day--whether I am with others or, like this year again, I am not. Because while family and friends add to the celebrations, joys, and traditions, it is not what makes Christmas.

Christmas is my Savior. Christmas is my wonderful Heavenly Father giving His Son to and for each of us. Christmas is the Atonement which saves me and allows me the chance to return to my home in heaven. It is not where I am or who I am with.

Christmas is believing in my Savior, and what I do to remember Him and keep His commandments.

A scripture I love which happened to be part of this week's scripture study:

"Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.

"And again, believe that ye must repent of your sins and forsake them, and humble yourselves before God; and ask in sincerity of heart that he would forgive you; and now, if you believe all these things see that ye do them."

-Mosiah 4:9

Books and Books and More Books

Day 358

I had to use up my account at the used book store today. I had ~$100 left. And with books at half price of what was listed, that added up for a lot of books. I was able to get books for other people, as well as a few that I've been wanting to get for a while. I also got a few DVDs to add to my collection.

Plus it was all easily packed in with all the other books and DVDs that I own (which I packed this afternoon).

I love books, especially having ones that I want to read over and over again.

What fun

Day 357

I'm not typically a shopper. Not at all. But today's excursion to the outlets with 7 other females (ranging in age from child to grandmother) was actually rather fun. And though I didn't expect to get anything, I ended up finding a sale on something I needed, the rest of the Christmas shopping that I had hoped to do, and a "Christmas dress" as my other fun Christmas present. And the talking with other girls and just simple hanging out which I don't often get to do...it was all quite enjoyable.

So, I'm not necessarily grateful for shopping (especially at this time of year!!!), but I am grateful for a lot more fun than I had expected.

When the family gets together...for the holidays!

Day 356

Yay--I'm with family! So nice to see family near Christmas. Especially family I don't always get to see.

I love my family!

Give, give, give

Day 355

I am grateful for getting presents ready to give to others. I've been doing so for the last few days. But today I was thinking how fun it is to think about others and what might be meaningful to them.

I like the joy that truly does come in giving with your heart.

The Right Way

Day 354

For a rescheduled program, we had an amazing turnout! My throat was not happy after I had to belt out a bunch of Christmas carols with the kids, but we all had fun and that's what matters.

My last program.

A very sad thing.

But all is as it should be.

Even with all of the "mourning" that I am doing for my job, my friends, and my beloved east coast, I am grateful to know that this is the direction I am to go in--and that much of it was my own choice.

More music

Day 353

I got to participate in a Christmas Sacrament program today. That really couldn't be expected of the singles' branch. So, it was nice that a family ward (with good friends which I'm having a hard time saying good-bye to) invited me to join the choir today. I was a bit nervous, considering never able to practice with them and then sounding terrible from my cold. But it all came out well. And the music given was very lovely and a great message.

Music and Christmas--they go hand in hand for me, and I will never tire of the opportunities that come to me with that.

Missing

Day 352

My last Saturday to work. Well, no. Certainly not my last Saturday to work. In fact, I'll be working more at my next job. But it's my last one for this job. I feel the official "countdown" beginning.

There is a great sorrow for me in this. I have made many wonderful friends among co-workers and patrons at this job. I have gained so much experience. I have established myself within the system. Everyone knows me and I know (almost) everyone else. It will be 2 weeks shy of my 3-year mark. The longest job I have ever held straight through (outside of newspapers). I will miss so much about this job, and the people I serve and serve with.

This new opportunity at "a new life" holds excitement if anything for the fact at how positive it all is and how the Lord's hand has been in and a part of it. And the excitement is building as the countdown gets smaller. And as the health gets better. And as the So Many Things to Do start getting done. The smiles are more. The nervous wondering and hopes increase. The ideas and dreams of what the near and far future hold for me. The joy of something new. The ability for me to make the change instead of the change happening to me. The fulfillment of many spoken and unspoken prayers.

I just don't want anyone to get anything wrong.

Yes. I am excited and grateful for this new job.

Yes. I am excited and grateful for new opportunities.

Yes. I am excited and grateful for this new place to live.

But, no. I am not happy to leave my current job. There will be tears. There will be times of missing and longing for it. Because I have come to love so much about it and a part of me does not want to leave.

Yet personal circumstances require me to move on. It will not be easy. Indeed, it will be rather painful. But it is necessary.

But I am grateful that the Lord blessed me so much for the last 3 years to have the job, co-workers, patrons, and experiences that I have had.

Moving News

Day 351

OK. I am officially announcing my big news (now that I've included it in my Christmas Letter email to everyone):

I have accepted a job offer to be a Children's Librarian....

...in Utah!

I have felt the Lord along this entire journey and I am grateful and feel very blessed.

Oh, all right.

Day 350

So, I may not have agreed about closing the library early on Monday.

Today? Not a problem.

After all, no huge months-long planned program to worry about in its cancellation.

Plus--even on a regular day a bunch of snow coming down and sticking makes a person just want to curl up at home.

Sleep.

Read.

Watch Christmas movies.

Eat yumminess.

But add to that being sick, and the whole desire just triples.

I am very grateful we got to go home early and that I could have recovery time, uplifting moments, and productive tasks throughout.

Someone Else

Day 349

There were many long, uncomfortable, and partially deaf hours.

Sometimes I just have to remember that I can't try to do it all on my own, but that relying on the Lord also means to reach out and allow others to be His hand in helping me.

My greatest gratitude today are for doctors who have knowledge, are helpful, and can prescribe effective medication and doses to help my misery go away.

And we'll have fun, fun, fun

Day 348

I was introduced to a very fun family place this evening. These people know families--of all ages. Food wasn't bad. Eating rooms were fun (if loud). The games were many, varied, and fun. It was fun to see children playing there, but I wouldn't mind going again with people of my age.

And perhaps I'll also add that I did very well on the basketball shooting game, too. If only the hoop was really that close.

I love fun times!

I'm Dreaming

Day 347

I woke up and thought I heard rain outside as I read my scriptures. Well, so much for the snow we were supposed to get the day before. Oh well. I've gotten used to not really getting snow--even though this is the time of year I love it most. Yeah. Not during official winter. Just around Christmas. It has to be a growing-up-in-the-mountains thing, with a little bit of Oh-the-nostalgia-I-think-I'm-going-to-cry whenever I hear "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas."

So imagine my happy surprise to walk out of my room and see out of my roommate's window:

Trees covered in snow!!

Things felt so festive and happy with the snow falling down.

I'm not in whole agreement about them closing my library early. I mean, come on--it was one inch on the grass and nothing on the streets! Sure these people can't even drive in rain, but, but..... Oh well.

If it doesn't snow on Christmas, I'll be all right--'cause I had this loveliness at the time my heart was so ready for it!

All kinds

Day 346

So, I suppose I can't mention the music and Christmas thing two days in a row, even if we had devotionals two days in a row. Well, while tonight's was great, too, I shall pick something else.

I got to wear my "all-purpose formal" today. I picked it for its lovely green. (One of my very favorite shades of green, by the way.) My mother gave me this dress for Christmas 11 years ago. I wore it to my high school prom, and my Freshman homecoming, and to scads of future formal and semi-formal events afterwards (like watching "Wicked" last year). I love this dress, but don't always have the occasion to wear it as I'd like. Considering only 2 sisters wore green in yesterday's devotional, I thought I'd don this lovely, Christmasy green and add to the numbers of my favorite color. And it is not so formal that it isn't church appropriate. Though I suppose it stood out enough considering the many comments I got on it! Yet those comments were very nice to hear and made me so happy that this dress I love can still be lovely and modest and elegant.

I also received a lovely comment from an older friend I haven't seen in a few months. He asked if I had lost weight. Some may be offended by that, but I certainly wasn't. Not after all of the work I've put into that this past year. And as I'm coming up on my 1st SparkPeople anniversary in a couple of days, I was very happy to reflect on these positive, happifying, and positive changes that I've made. I've lost inches all over, dropped 1-2 clothing sizes (depending on the clothing item), and lost 15 pounds. That is one happy and successful year! And there's always more to come. So it felt very nice that someone noticed and commented.

Singing, a lovely dress, and a happy reflection on a great change in my life make this day pretty complete in gratitude and joy!

Music and Christmas

Day 345

I love our Stake Choir. I especially love the Christmas devotionals our stake choir gives. I may have been at the point of exhaustion before the Christmas devotional, but I was still very uplifted by it spiritually. There's a reason this is one of my favorite things to do all year--share my testimony of the Savior and praise Him in song at the time the world celebrates His birth.

And I felt the joy, peace, and hope for the true reason of this wonderful time of year.

It's the Weekend!

Day 344

I'm not sure if I've been grateful for this during this year, but I this week and this day I am most certainly grateful that it is the weekend. Not that I have the most relaxing weekend ahead of me. But I'm just glad to reach my week's end and have a break from work. Maybe that's because I've been focusing so much on revising booklists and reading review journals (blech!)

But I'm happy I've reached it.

Booklists!

Day 343

I've finally gotten back to booklists. That was one of my two main things when I worked in the adult reference department. But since moving over to children's, I have been so busy and have not made it to those booklists. Especially as the current 30+ all needed huge re-formatting which had been approved and requested long before I moved over. So my staff and I have been working on getting them updated and then I have to look over them to finalize and approve.

It was nice to go back to something familiar, though "different" with its Children's twist. (It also felt like it was at last a breath of air that I've needed for the last 10 months!)

Food!

Day 342

We had our City staff luncheon today. Being far away from the city's center, we usually have our food delivered. Some times the food has been OK. Today, the food was actually pretty good. So, the chicken was dry. But the potatoes, ham, and brownie totally made up for it!

And as my co-worker said, it was nice to have some "real" food for lunch.

With Friends

Day 341

My client had to leave early this evening, so I was able to make it to Institute. So I was over an hour late, and got there as the lesson finished and the party began. But that was all right. Of all the obligations I had, or other things calling out to me, hanging out with my fellow "Branch-ies" was what I wanted most.

And I'm so grateful the Lord blessed me to have that.

One other thing of absolute joyness also happened today. Again, I am not able to share. Perhaps I can in future, but not yet. However, it has left such a great smile and exuberant soul--I love it!!

Christ is the Reason

Day 340

I did it! I completed my music video for The Living Christ. It has been my project in my Family Home Mornings to work on memorizing this document. I thought that putting pictures with certain phrases would help, and then decided to add music to it all. It isn't like my other music videos, but it is what I wanted for this project.

I'm grateful that it is done and for how it is helping to not only bring this document closer to my heart, but also bring the reason of the season closer to me as well.

Christmas, Christmas Time

Day 339

Never fails. The First Presidency Christmas Devotional brings such a happiness! I realize that my Christmas season just doesn't feel officially begun until I have heard the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sing, had the chance to sing "with" them, and heard sweet Christmas messages from the prophet and his counselors.

It isn't just that Christmas is coming, it's that Christmas has come.

Lift Up Your Voice

Day 338

We are getting closer to our Christmas devotional(s) with the Stake Choir. It has been a struggle for many of us in trying to prepare for this. But it has still been such a joy for me to sing Christmas music with friends and with my testimony of what we're singing about. This morning's 3 hours of practice was very rejuvenating to my spirit and my testimony, considering all I've gone through this year.

I love that every year the message and true meaning of Christmas is impressed on me even more because of my life, how I've chosen to live my life, and how the Lord continually blesses my life.

Together and Alone

Day 337

Today was a simple yet great joy: a productive day at work both on my own and with my co-worker. With all that has come up lately, this means a lot to me.

And it makes me very happy and more at peace than I've been in a while.

I'm Happy

Day 336

There was one especial gratitude and joy today, but one I am unable to talk about in this setting. Suffice it to say, I felt like I was walking on air for hours afterwards. I was so happy and could not stop smiling. I'm sorry I cannot elaborate further, but I suppose you'll have to trust

I was happy. :-)

If you'd still like to hear something more substantial than that, I am finally getting to the booklists for Children's. All of them have needed a format update. After taking care of the school's summer suggestion lists (urg), I was taken over with Summer Reading. And things just never stopped. My co-workers were unable to get to them steadily. So the last couple of days I have been able to plunge in to approving those they have updated. I hope to get through them by next week. Thus leaving it all more organized and allowing for us to make new ones! This may not seem all that exciting to you. But as this was one of my two main things when I worked Adult Reference (the other being Summer Reading), it is something of a familiar nature as well as being very informative where the collection is concerned.

So it, too, makes me happy.

Lead Me, Guide Me

Day 335

My friend sent this to me in an email yesterday, but I didn't get to watch it until just now.

With what I've been going through recently, parts of this were very applicable as well as poignant for me.

The video was lengthier than the typical, but worth every bit. It is something I wanted to share, as well as have easy access to. So I'm posting it here for me and for you. I hope I may apply it to myself, down to the very last bit of counsel.

Addresses like this remind me of how grateful I am for righteous, inspired leaders and their counsel.