Gospel Message Day 241

Personal Reflections

This week has been building and building in frustration, anxiety, and hurt. And it is a week that comes after weeks, rather months of the same frustration and hurt. And I've come to the conclusion that I am tired of being hurt by guys who are either selfish, ignorant, or clueless. (And yes, there is a difference between the last two.) I feel like that is what I'm consistently encountering in my attempts to be social. I know it is part of the experience to meet people like this, and a good sign I'm learning a lot from my dating coach that I'm recognizing these things and moving beyond them rather than sticking around, holding out for them, and wasting time.

Now, I am not one who believes that marriage will be the end-all, solve-all-problems kind of thing. Far from it. Merging two personalities into a marriage (and one for eternity no less) is not an easy thing. There will be frustration, anxiety, and hurt. But I know it will be different. Because I will have married my best friend, with eternity in sight. The covenants I make within the temple to my Heavenly Father and to my husband would give me conviction to keep them and to work through whatever life and we ourselves throw at us. Plus, by then, I will be dealing with only one man's personality, quirks, habits, idiosyncrasies, etc. I won't be constantly thrown for a loop by first one and then another and then yet another man's unpredictable, unexplainable, likely unintentionally painful actions. I think dealing with my best friend's additions to a marriage will be so much better than what I have to deal with now. Especially considering how much he is going to have to deal with from me! I already love that man for willingly and patiently taking me on as his eternal companion. Bless him, and bless our road in finding each other. The pain is frustrating and awful at times, but it will definitely be worth it.