My Mother's Day

Day 127

I had a most marvelous day! My turtle and I had a morning and afternoon on the town. Specifically, my college town. And I finally made a realization or connection or something. The last few years, it has been hard to tell others where I’m from or where I call home. The one base I could tie to was dissolved. I myself moved and moved and moved some more. But as I drove toward my morning of joy, I could see that BYU was my home. Not Provo. BYU. The campus. The more immediate surroundings (stores, library, temple). And I could see that my heart has been there for many, many years.

Thus, after some sealings in the temple which holds special place in my heart for many reasons, and then seeing the Carl Block exhibit which was a good spiritual experience for me, I walked around the campus that helped create who I am. And I knew that a part of my heart will always reside there at BYU. To add to all the joy, I visited a couple of my favorite spots nearby and reveled in the memories therein.

Then I decided that this was my Mother’s Day. Because it has often hurt that others are wished to be happy mothers, but I am not. Just because I don’t have children? That doesn’t seem right. Because I long for children so much. I long for my husband even more. I have every desire to be a wife and mother and it is not my fault that those blessings have not yet come to me. So why must I wait when I am doing everything I can to have a mother heart and to be a mother when and how I can. Celebrating Mother’s Day just made sense. And what I was doing made the perfect celebration.

I’m grateful to know that the Lord knows my attempts to have a mother heart, and helped me find some of the best ways to celebrate—including finally finding where I truly feel I belong.