it's Over

Day 192

In the last 2 months or so, I have spent every spare moment near a piano practicing the Pioneer Medley our branch choir was going to sing. A lovely medley, a very nice arrangement. But one killer piano part for one of my skill level. I worked and worked. I got close to tears sometimes because it was a harder piece than I thought it could be and I felt frustrated. (Or, as one speaker said twice in her talk today "flustrated.")

Maybe it was the stress to get it ready, and the relatively few times I had to practice. Give me 2 or 3 days a week for an hour of practice (at least) for another month and I would have felt better.

But I had all the time I would get.

Today was THE day. I prayed I would do as well as I could, and be happy with how I did. And that no matter what I did, I would not detract from the message and the spirit of the music.

So, while I didn't play about 10% of the notes, and messed up 30% of them, that still means about 60% went well! I'm not as upset as I've known myself to be in the past. In fact, the only upset that I have is with how my long-practiced, 8 measures (4 of them memorized: do you know how long and how hard it is for me to memorize piano music? So odd with my typically good skill of memorization) of an intro were totally botched up. The choir wasn't even sure where and when to come in! It upset me because I knew I could play it. I had played it. Many times. And correctly! So my consolation was that everyone in practice had heard me play it correctly at one point.

Yet no one commented. No one said "whoa" or "yikes" or "good job." But I suppose silence can be golden in this case.

Either way. Prayers are answered because even with that horrible and obvious (ai, there's the rub) mistake, well.... I didn't cry--because I had 7 more pages to get through! And though after the song I was slightly annoyed that I made the huge mistake, I still can't help smiling. It was so bad, it's actually rather funny. And perhaps I handled it better because I read a Mormon Mommy blog post a couple of weeks ago that was spot on hilarious. I just couldn't help laughing even more at all of this and realizing I am not alone and no one (of course) expects perfection.

I'm so grateful that the Lord helps me, well, get over it.