Today I was looking through my diary from 9th grade, trying to find a written account for an experience I'm sharing in Sunday School tomorrow (the teacher asked). My first thought: I am so embarrassed by my self then. Actually, I'm embarrassed by my self up until I was probably 21. And I have had quite a few moments since that still make me cringe. But reading those entries? Wow. Forever Cringing. That's the subtitle to all my teen diaries. Mostly because I was on overly emotional, over-reactive, sentimental hopeless romantic. I still am in some ways, but I'm really trying to cure myself of some of that!
However, I'm still impressed at times with where my testimony was at the age of 14. And how I exercised Faith. The story I'm going to share may seem trivial to adults, but to a 14-year old, this was life. I ran track. I was the only 2-miler in 8th grade. Eventually others joined in 9th grade. They were much faster than me, but my coach always gave me 1 of the 2 slots in the races at our track meets. It was an honorary position because of all the efforts I made. I had proved myself to my coach by then, but it had taken over a year. At the beginning of 9th grade track season, we hadn't convinced enough girls to run the 2-mile. And one of our earliest meets, my coach needed me to run. We lost points if no one ran. So even if (and when) I placed last at each race, our school still got the points for participation.
But we had a conflict that day. Our choir was taking a trip to the state capital, where part of our itinerary included singing in the capitol building. Hearing the sound in the rotunda was going to be fabulous! The schedule had us returning between 4:30 and 5. But to run the 2-mile--which was always either the very first or very last event--I had to be at the meet at 4:30. I had to choose. Singing was and still is one of the biggest parts of my life. I did not want to give up this once in a lifetime opportunity. But my coach needed me and trusted me. I told her I would not go on the trip.
But I felt terrible after doing so.
The next evening, I decided that I would much rather go with the choir. There would be at least 7 more meets that season, but this trip would never happen again. It seemed an easy choice, but I had promised my coach! We'd had shaky ground when she first started coaching me the previous year. I didn't want to disappoint her or bring back the shaky ground. I prayed for help. I believe I have always had a strong faith that my Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers, even my unspoken ones. He has answered because He knows the desires of my heart. So in faith, I turned this matter over to prayer, praying that all would work out with the decision I had made. I wrote a letter of apology and sent it with a track team member to deliver to the coach, and went on the trip.
I quote from my diary:
But something else that I can see I gained from this experience? My faith grew immeasurably that nothing is too unimportant for our Heavenly Father. He cares about each of our desires, no matter how trivial they may seem. He knows what they mean to us.