I'd heard/read this once or twice before. But had forgotten about it until M. emailed the family with it a couple of days ago. I find enough humor in it that I felt to post it here for a humorous addition.
Dear Tech Support ,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower
and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as:
. Romance 9.5, and
. Personal Attention 6.5,
and then installed undesirable programs such as:
. NBA 5.0,
. NFL 3.0 and
. Golf Clubs 4.1.
Also Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes
the system.
. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,
but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
DEAR DESPERATE,
First, keep in mind:
. Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
. Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2,
and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed , Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to
default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the
Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0
(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all
your system resources).
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.
These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory
and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck!
Tech Support
It can also be seen as a humorous reminder of how we all can be better spouses. Or, in my single adult case, a better person. There are many wonderful talks from Church leaders that give counsel and advice to help us be better.
"To Love and Care for Each Other" By Karl R. White
“According to the Desire of [Our] Hearts” By Elder Neal A. Maxwell
"The Pitfalls of Parallel Marriage" By Charles B. Beckert
"Bringing Out the Best in Marriage" By Val R. Christensen
"Concern for the One" By Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin
"Good, Better, Best" By Elder Dallin H. Oaks
"Clean Hands and a Pure Heart" By Elder David A. Bednar
"Living in the Fulness of Times" By President Gordon B. Hinckley
"Be Your Best Self" By President Thomas S. Monson (given this past Priesthood session, but still quite applicable to us all)
Isn't it a magnificent blessing to have a lifetime to spend in becoming Our Best Self?
Dear Tech Support ,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower
and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as:
. Romance 9.5, and
. Personal Attention 6.5,
and then installed undesirable programs such as:
. NBA 5.0,
. NFL 3.0 and
. Golf Clubs 4.1.
Also Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes
the system.
. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,
but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
DEAR DESPERATE,
First, keep in mind:
. Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
. Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2,
and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed , Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to
default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the
Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0
(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all
your system resources).
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.
These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory
and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck!
Tech Support
It can also be seen as a humorous reminder of how we all can be better spouses. Or, in my single adult case, a better person. There are many wonderful talks from Church leaders that give counsel and advice to help us be better.
"To Love and Care for Each Other" By Karl R. White
“According to the Desire of [Our] Hearts” By Elder Neal A. Maxwell
"The Pitfalls of Parallel Marriage" By Charles B. Beckert
"Bringing Out the Best in Marriage" By Val R. Christensen
"Concern for the One" By Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin
"Good, Better, Best" By Elder Dallin H. Oaks
"Clean Hands and a Pure Heart" By Elder David A. Bednar
"Living in the Fulness of Times" By President Gordon B. Hinckley
"Be Your Best Self" By President Thomas S. Monson (given this past Priesthood session, but still quite applicable to us all)
Isn't it a magnificent blessing to have a lifetime to spend in becoming Our Best Self?
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