What You Get Depends on You

What a great talk about a fantastic principle! I loved it. And I wanted to share this one part about how we control what we get out of spiritual things.

"Proper worship illustrates how 'Yagottawanna' works. For example, how many of you have assumed the 'bored position' during sacrament meeting? You know the position: bent forward at the waist, chin resting on hands, elbows on knees, staring vacantly at the floor. Has it occurred to you that it is your choice whether the meeting is interesting or not?

"Several years ago I heard about a good brother who described his attitude as President David O. McKay gave the concluding talk of general conference. It was a sultry afternoon, and this was the fifth session he had attended. He was sitting in the balcony, and his mind had a serious wandering problem. He noticed a man sitting in the middle section who had fallen asleep with his head tilted back and his mouth open. It occurred to him that if he were in the roof of the Tabernacle, he could drop a spit wad through one of the vent holes right into the mouth of that sleeping man. What a glorious thought! Following the meeting, he overheard two men talking about their feelings during President McKay’s talk. They were visibly moved by what they had heard. He thought to himself, These two brethren were having a marvelous spiritual experience, and what was I doing? Thinking about dropping spit wads from the ceiling!

"President Spencer W. Kimball said that worship 'is an individual responsibility, and regardless of what is said from the pulpit, if one wishes to worship the Lord in spirit and in truth, he may do so.… If the service is a failure to you, you have failed. No one can worship for you; you must do your own waiting upon the Lord.' (Ensign, Jan. 1978, p. 5.)

-Jack H. Goasling, "Yagottawanna," Ensign, May 1991, p. 45

"All I Want in a Man is One Who..."

“Brethren, noble fatherhood gives us a glimpse of the divine attributes of our Father in Heaven. A father should be many things. He should magnify his priesthood and be an example of righteousness. In companionship with his wife, he should be the source of stability and strength for the whole family. He should be the protector and the provider and the champion of the members of his family. Much of his love for his children should flow from his example of love, concern, and fidelity for their mother. By his uncompromising example he should instill character into his children.”

James E. Faust, “ ‘Them That Honour Me I Will Honour,’ ” Ensign, May 2001, 46

Be an Example

Way to Be:

"Never forget that you are a [child] of God. He loves you. Live by your standards. Stand up for what you believe in. Sometimes it is not easy, and you may be standing alone for a while. Look for friends with integrity and character, then go to them and express appreciation for their examples. You might even find someone who has been feeling as lonely as you. Pray for guidance and protection from the Lord. He will sustain you. He will become a trusted friend, and you will discover that your example will attract many friends who will take courage from your strength of character."

W. Craig Zwick, "We Will Not Yield, We Cannot Yield," Ensign, May 2008, 98

I think I need to try harder with this. But what encouragement to help me to do so!

What Our Eyes Cannot See

"In the gospel of Jesus Christ you have help from both sides of the veil, and you must never forget that. When disappointment and discouragement strike--and they will--you remember and never forget that if our eyes could be opened we would see horses and chariots of fire as far as the eye can see riding at reckless speed to come to our protection (see 2 Kgs. 6:16-17). They will always be there, these armies of heaven, in defense of Abraham's seed."

Jeffrey R. Holland, "For Times of Trouble," BYU Speeches, 1980, 45

That is a very comforting and uplifting thought for me. It's a hard one to remember during the hard times. But when I can, it is so reassuring. I have decided that to help me in the future when I may need this remembrance, I have started now to make all scriptures with a reference to angels--that which we is there protecting us and helping us through. To hear more about this comforting truth (and another aspect of it), I highly recommend Elder Holland's recent General Conference talk:

"The Ministry of Angels," Ensign, November 2008, 29-31

"He will comfort and lead you"

"Mortality is a period of testing, a time to prove ourselves worthy to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father. In order to be tested, we must sometimes face challenges and difficulties. At times there appears to be no light at the tunnel’s end—no dawn to break the night’s darkness. We feel surrounded by the pain of broken hearts, the disappointment of shattered dreams, and the despair of vanished hopes. We join in uttering the biblical plea 'Is there no balm in Gilead?' We are inclined to view our own personal misfortunes through the distorted prism of pessimism. We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone. If you find yourself in such a situation, I plead with you to turn to our Heavenly Father in faith. He will lift you and guide you. He will not always take your afflictions from you, but He will comfort and lead you with love through whatever storm you face."

Thomas S. Monson, “Looking Back and Moving Forward,” Ensign, May 2008, 87–90


I very much have a testimony of this. Every bit of it. And know with complete surety that the very last part is true. We are not left to weather the stormy darkness alone. There is a guiding light--our Savior. If we just put our faith and trust in Him.


This quote puts me in mind of a beautiful song that Women's Chorus (and other choirs) got to sing for the Alliance World Festival of Women's singing in 2004. In fact, it was commissioned specifically for the festival. (Though I do remember that we sang it at a BYU Devotional. I thought for Pres. Monson, but cannot find any documented proof online. Guess I'll have to pull out my journal and hope I was updating then. We later learned that the world premiere was to be at the Festival. We had to keep it a bit hushed that we had already sung it. But the Spirit definitely wanted us to sing the song because it went hand-in-hand with the speaker's message. No one even knew he would give the original quote that the lyrics were based off of.) So, so beautiful--music-wise and message-wise.

The Gate of the Year

Lux aeterna. Lux aeterna.

I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year,

"Give me a light, give me a light, give me a light

That I may tread safely into the unknown,

Tread safely into the unknown.

Go out into the darkness. Go out into the darkness.

Go out into the darkness, and put your hand into the hand of God.

That shall be to you better than light,

And safer, safer, safer than a known way!

So I went forth and finding the hand of God

Trod gladly, gladly, gladly into the night.

Lux aeterna. Lux aeterna. Lux.

Live to the Fullest

"A quality life is God's greatest wish for us. Life is to be lived well in whatever circumstances we find ourselves. There should not be a waiting period."

Marvin J. Ashton, "Be a Quality Person," Ensign, Feb. 1993, 64

Oh. amen! My mother gave me the book A Single Voice about a month ago. It is written my Elder Oaks' second wife, whom I have heard speak more than once. I greatly admire her. She is right up there with Sheri Dew, for me. Such wonderful advice Sister Oaks gives which go right along with what Elder Ashton said. They are encouraging words for me and are constant reminders to not only keep pressing forward, but to make something of the life I've been blessed with. On the cover of the book it says, "The Unexpected Life is No Less a Life."

Here are some other fantastic quotes from the book:

• We cannot stop becoming or sit and wait for our lives to unfold in a way that may never be.
• Going to the temple alone is not a consolation prize; it is the consummate gift from our Heavenly Father.
• The Lord is pleased with out devotion to Him, no matter our marital status.
• The more we know of [Jesus Christ], His doctrine, and His teachings, and partake of the ordinances, the more significance His Atonement has in our lives. It also follows that with our increased devotion and understanding of Him, the happier and more complete we become. That doesn't mean there will be no more bad days but rather a lot more happy and contented ones.
• As we draw closer to the Lord and our testimonies increase, our ability to endure happily increases.
• By applying the principles of the gospel and knowing we are precious in the eyes of God, we can attain peace and happiness.
• The Lord is going to give us the life that is best for us. One way or the other, it is not going to be easy.
• As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we have a responsibility to make out moment bright and to live to our full potential, married or not.

Giving and Trusting Our All in the Lord's Callings

"When the Saints trickled into the Salt Lake Valley, all they owned, or could hope to get, was carried in a wagon, or they must make it themselves.

"They marked off the temple site before even the rudest log home was built.

"There was an architect in that first company, William Weeks, who had designed the Nauvoo temple. But the hopeless desolation was too much for him. When President Young went east in 1848, Brother Weeks left, saying, 'They will never build the temple without me' (see Thomas Bullock Journals, 1844-1850, 8 July 1848, Church Archives).

"Truman O. Angell, a carpenter, was appointed to replace him. He said: 'If the President and my brethren feel to sustain a poor worm of the dust like me to be Architect of the Church, let me . . . serve them and not disgrace myself. . . . May the Lord help me so to do' (Truman O. Angell Journal, 1857-8 Apr. 1868, 28 May 1867, Church Archives)."

Boyd K. Packer, "The Temple, the Priesthood," Ensign, May 1993, 19

I love what Brother Angel said. It should be a motto for life. I need to make it one of mine.

Mothers All Around Us

"I take great delight in my role as a nurturer, which allows me to express my deepest identity as a woman. I never fail to be struck by the way that women, young women, and even little girls seem to have an instinctive interest and ability in nurturing. It is not only a mother's primary responsibility but also part of our 'individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose' ("The Family: A Proclamation to the World," Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102). To nurture is to teach, to foster development, to promote growth, to feed, and to nourish. Who would not shout for joy at being given such a blessed role? "The scriptures use the word nurture only twice and in both cases speak of the responsibility of parents to raise their children 'in the nurture and admonition of the Lord' (Ephesians 6:4; Enos 1:1).

Susan W. Tanner, "My Soul Delighteth in the Things of the Lord," Ensign, May 2008, 82

An odd way to see this, but yes, the Lord truly has given the role of nurturer to all female creations--including animals. In my new place of abode, there are two dogs. The female dog knew that I was having a rough time. (I think having a hard time to keep from crying, and then no longer being able to cry because the tear ducts cannot produce any more tears could be considered a rough time.) From the time I came down for breakfast, she was there at my side. Even went back upstairs with me just so I could get my keys and saw me to the door as I left. As soon as I returned home (early) from work, she immediately found me in my room--was waiting right outside of the bathroom instead of exploring my belongings. She stayed by my side the entire time she was out of the kennel. Sis. E. said usually she follows her like a shadow. But today, she came and curled up with me as I nursed my wounded soul, and slept on and off in hopes that I could rally after being well-rested. It felt so nice to know that one of God's creatures--no matter how lowly--cared so much to make sure I felt good and loved today. It was also nice to have Sis. E. there to completely understand if not the cause at least the trial of the disjointed, unhappy state of my spirit and mind. It's nice to know the Lord Himself is there "at all times, and in all things, and in all places" (Mosiah 18:9).

Remember Who You Are

"One of this nation's leading pollsters, Richard Wirthlin, has identified through polls an expression of the basic needs of people in the United States. These needs are self-esteem, peace of mind, and personal contentment. I believe these are needs of God's children everywhere. How can these needs be satisfied? I suggest that behind each of these is the requirement to establish one's own personal identity as the offspring of God. All three needs, regardless of ethnic background, culture, or country, can be met if we look to the divinity that is within us."

James E. Faust, "Heirs to the Kingdom of God," Ensign, May 1995, 61–62

Wow, I needed this, too. I'm so glad the Lord is sending so many words of counsel, advice, and encouragement from leaders past and present. And I'm grateful it has always been that way.

The Power of the Lord, and the Power of Friends

[from my personal online journal]:

I wanted to thank you who sent me such wonderful words of encouragement. Though I have trouble believing some of it, I cannot doubt what you believe to be there and have thus shared. And I certainly won't reject it. I thank you so very much for those words, as well as all you have each given me so often. I'm working on everything. It is sad it cannot be an overnight change, but I know and am grateful that your words and belief in me will help me through this. 

I have to find the Pollyanna again. Not just in and of me. But life in general. I want to wake with happiness and hope again. Not despair and sorrow and fear. I want to remember what it is to really smile again. I was prompted this week to read my journal from Dec. 15, 2001-Aug. 15, 2002. It was a time in life--reflected very much in the writing--when I started out loving life so joyfully and exuberantly, and always thinking so positively. Then I let the world get to me and I had such a difficult struggle with life. But by the end, I had found strength and renewal from so many things--temple attendance, death of my grandfather, personal revelation, support of friends, the Atonement. And reading that journal this week was something I know the Lord needed me to see. Because it wasn't just words and examples of someone. It was words and examples of my own self. And if I could do that before, I know I can do it again. 

I also wanted to post a link to an Ensign article that CK made me aware of. I hadn't reached that spot, but this morning I searched this month's issue until I found it. And she was right. It was another thing I needed. I may not suffer from the exact things as this brother, but I very much understand "undirected guilt, loneliness, despair, and feelings of worthlessness." Comfort came from again not feeling alone, and the same reminders of what I can and should be doing to pull out of this.

It still amazes me how much the Lord is in every daily thought and action. And that it can either be directly to/around/for us, or inspiring others who in turn direct it to us, or us serving others as the Lord needs us to and that circling right back to help us. Life has calmed somewhat that I can again focus on that which I need to in order to get better. It will be a long journey, I know. But I have friends--sent from God, I know of a surety--with me, no matter how much physical or electronic distance is between us. And those friendships will make this journey easier. 

Please bear with me as I work on this. And thank you for being such true, devoted, long-suffering friends. Truly one of my greatest blessings I have ever had on earth. 

Awesomeness!

[from my online journal today]:

OK, a month ago at Stake Choir practice, I was among the first to learn that for our January 25th Stake Conference, Elder Scott was coming out for it! Can you believe it?! JUST our stake. We are so close to 2 other stakes, and yet they are not combining for this. Just my stake. Wow. I have been anxiously waiting to hear about stake choir and what/when we'll be doing for preparations and such. Not only do I love to serve the Lord in song, it's also always a guaranteed (and great) seat! :-)

It dawned on me this past weekend that if Elder Scott was coming for our Sunday session, then he would also be there for our Sat. evening session for adults, too. I mean, whoa. I already love conferences and such. And apostles. And to get to hear him twice. I'm so anxious for it I can barely contain myself.

Well, tonight the E.s and I were watching the BCS championship bowl game when a phone call comes after 10 pm. Those of you who know me well know that I hold personal opinions about phone calls after 8pm. So I figured it was something important. Especially as he is the branch president. He got off the phone and said (paraphrasing), "Well, Elder Scott wants to have a fireside for the young single adults on Friday." CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?!?!? It makes me feel special and cared for when the Church does things like writes Ensign articles just for our group. And now an apostle is coming to speak to us. (The fireside will be tri-stake, thought.) 

A couple of minutes later, Pres. E. came into the room from whatever he'd been doing and said to me, "Oh, I hate to spring this on you, but would you do the music for this?" (:-0 HUH!? ME?! Oh my word. Well, I...heh heh...uh...of course! I get to pick the hymns. And I may possibly have to put together a special musical number (thankfully something came to mind from which I can pull from both YSA branches that I have connections with). I'll probably play the piano for it, too. Ahhhh! 

OK, I know they are men. Called of God. But still men and not The One whom we worship (namely the Savior). But they are His representatives. And being in their presence is truly awesome in all senses of the word. And to play the piano "for" them--to serve by using a gift Heavenly Father has blessed me with.... This is right up there with the times I have been able to sing for the prophet and the apostles and those blessed, happy occasions and opportunities which I had. But this has never occurred for me in such a "small" setting. I just...I almost can't breathe to think about it. I am in total awe and excitement and humility. 

Does this make sense to any of you? I mean, are you able to see where I'm coming from with all of this? It's so hard for me to explain. But I had to share!!!!

New Insights

"Many of you study foreign languages. You might like to start reading the Book of Mormon in another language. When you read the scriptures in another language, you learn what the words mean in a new way."

Julie B. Beck, "My Soul Delighteth in the Scriptures," Ensign, May 2004, 108

My senior year in high school I began reading the Book of Mormon in French, going off something my brother A. had said to me when he returned from his mission. It went in slow intervals as I attended college. And then I finally knuckled down to it and got through. It was around then that I had begun a scripture journal. I love going back and reading some of those entries, because I did learn--just as Sister Beck said--"what the words mean in a new way." The scriptures came alive to me in so many new and exhilarating ways. I have the book in Chinese, too, but I think it will take much longer than the 6 years in French. Still, it is a great way to get new insights, and I'm so glad I was supported in this by a church leader whom I greatly admire!