I have thought and pondered and finally concluded that there are some friends (mostly those I am closest to) to whom I am a terrible friend to. I have opened up too much of myself and all they see now is nothing good. Just the negative, un-Christlike aspects. When Moroni 7:45 shows you everything you're not, that's a sign that you're tearing others down and not lifting them up. I may be working on changing, but during that all I'm going to do is make them miserable. That isn't being a friend. I know they'll be fine without me. They were fine before I entered their life and they will be happier when I'm out of it. Other friends are works in progress like me, on levels closer to where I am. I believe we understand one another and help lift each other up. But when the lifting is done by one and all the other one (namely me) does is tear them down, that is an unhealthy friendship/relationship. There can be no greater pain for me than losing some of the closest friends I have ever known. But I don't want to hurt them any more than I do. I can't. Today we talked about leaving people better than we found them. And I've just made them worse. The Christlike thing is to walk away before any more harm is done. These people will be better off without my "friendship." "You must do the thing you think you cannot do."-Eleanor Roosevelt.
"Our main purpose in life is to love each other. If we can't do that, we can at least try not to hurt one another." -Dalai Lama
1 comment:
I don't know if I necessarily agree with you...though I'm not completely certain of the details...but I think a good friend is willing to share the "scary" stuff. I think it helps both people. You get to kinda vent about your struggles, and they get to listen and support you through them. I think it also helps to see that we aren't all perfect it might even make them feel better about their own struggles that they may not be able to share with you. There have been many times where I have felt inadequate. I felt all alone in my inperfections and then a friend share with me some of their problems and it helps me see that my challenges and shortcomings aren't as bad as I thought they were....true I still need to work on them, but in the end it does lift my spirit to hear that those who on the outside seem to portray such a perfect life also have struggles of their own. It makes me feel like I'm not such a bad person. Please don't ever say that people are better off without you in their life. Each of us has something different to offer everyone in this world...something that no other single person in this world can offer. If you stay away from people because you are afraid of bringing them down (which again, I don't believe is true), you are denying them the opportunity to know you and all that you can offer them.
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