Rough Patches

Day 316-325

Um. Life is still good.

Yeah.

Really.

I'll admit I've had a few more downs the last few days.

Missing my brother.

Fighting sickness, so I'm really tired and worn out.

Losing a wonderful co-worker to retirement (and only having 1 day's notice of it!).

Upset. Not about being single. But about single in my family. Outside of my mom and maybe my sister (and probably my dad, too), no one really knows what it's like for me. And I am reminded yet again how very much I feel like the outsider in the family. The intruder. The one no one knows what to do with. The one they don't often remember or realize is actually very lonely when it comes to family.

Misunderstanding--or just lack of knowledge...or something. I guess. I don't know. But I know it's mostly my reactions and eventually I was able to shrug it off. It still wasn't so easy at the beginning.

However, in spite of that, happiness abounds. How can it not? I have the most wonderful and loving elder brother--my Savior. Who blesses me always beyond what I deserve. All is always well with my world, no matter what I let me emotional state be.

Life's Recent Joys

Day 291-315

Still here. Still living. Still loving--all of it!

So much had been so great. Here are just a few things:

My trip went well and it was wonderful to be present at Caleb & Rose's wedding. Fun to see friends again. But even better that it was the first time in over 5 years that I boarded a plane and actually felt like I was flying home. Nothing compares to that feeling!!

I finished my costume. In spite of the many flaws that I know about it, it actually turned out well! I am very happy with it. It was such fun to wear to the Stake YSA dance. But I find it funny that--going with tradition--most people had no idea who I was. Oh well.

I have had the most fun with my group of friends. And it is so wonderful to say that I have a group of friends again! It has been a while since I had a group that I can spend time with--who enjoy me being a part of them and remember to involve me. But that none of us is restrictive with one another and we can go about our merry choices as we deem fit for ourselves. 

I also figured out my insurance and benefits and such (considering it's changing in a few months) and set up the various medical appointments I've been procrastinating since I moved here. (Bad me. I know.) I had my first today, and it was nice to know my eyes haven't gotten much worse. And to have contacts again! Too bad the weather has finally turned cold that there aren't many sporting adventures for me to take advantage of without worrying about either breaking my glasses or not being able to see anything without them. 

And to top it off, I pulled out my Christmas stuff this afternoon. I didn't want to put up the decorations for only a few days (since I'm moving again around Christmas). Thus, I decided to have it up now. And I'm currently watching Muppet Christmas Carol and just loving the spirit entering my home. It is one of joy and fun and nostalgia and gratitude--the kind of spirit I love to have in my home all the time!

My life is so happy and blessed--and all because of my loving Savior and my loving Heavenly Father.