Student as the Teacher, Teacher is the Student

[from my personal online journal today]

Sunday night, after the amazing 1st Presidency Christmas Devotional, I found out that our Institute teacher was still fighting a cold and wanted me to substitute as the teacher. I haven't subbed in Institute since my mother asked me back in '04 or '05. It's been a while. And the one thing I have the most difficulty teaching (for I love teaching) is scriptures. I always feel so lacking in knowledge, and I worry the Spirit will have such a small well to draw from.

But what I do love is how much teachers always learn so much (often more than the students) from any lesson that they prepare. And I have gained so much in preparing for this lesson! Personal things that I have been needing. And while some show me where I could and should have been doing better, it has all come out in an encouraging, I-can-do-this way. And I feel so incredibly uplifted from this. Full of light even! I know I could never convey to the students all that I have been able to gain in this less-than-48-hours to prepare. But I'm so glad our teacher felt impressed to have me teach, for this has been exactly what I've needed in my life.

How I love that the Lord loves me and always knows what I need, when I need it.

P.S. May I beg a prayer from you for me for tonight? I am still a bit on the nervous side, not only in worrying about having the Spirit with me, but also in the temporalness of feeling so ignorant and silly next to some of the most amazingly spiritually intelligent people I have ever known in my life. And the worry of teaching false doctrine!! Ah, I need to stop or I'm going to work myself into a tizzy. (Used to always want to be able to use that phrase--I've changed my mind.)