Even More to be Thankful For!

Laura at Heavenly Homemakers made mention of her Gratituesday today. I'm fairly new to her blog, and I enjoy reading it. But I'd forgotten about her Gratituesday. I love the idea! And with how wonderful everything has been, I definitely wanted to participate. Especially as it's great preparation for my next year's Joy and Gratitude Every Day. I had planned it as part of my online journal, which has only a few readers. But perhaps I should have it on this blog. It would reach more people, n'est-ce pas? Plus, it's all in relation to the ever wonderful Time Out for Women.

Anywho. This was from my online journal yesterday, and I thought it was perfect for Gratituesday!

I've had so much I've wanted to say, and yet I don't write because I've been so short on time, and current lack of easy Internet access at home. It's just that busy time of year--throwing in two classes of subbing as Institute teacher and preparing for a vacation. Many thanks that this year does not involve a move. Many thanks.

But I'm happy. So, so happy and at peace and filled with joy. Prayers are truly answered and I haven't felt this good in about 3 years. It has been the most wonderful thing. I've wanted to share, but I wanted to give it full attention and focus. I don't think I'm going to find it. But I wanted you to know that I'm being blessed with a happy happiness. And I'm so grateful!

My other news had been health-related. Great discoveries and the use of the tool that has been making things go so well. I guess with financial matters doing well in being taken care of, it was time to turn to the physical. And it has been exciting as well as fun to work with this.

So just in quick summary (since I really need to get back to work!):

1. PCOS is very often caused by Insulin Resistance. That news has literally changed my life and perspective.
2. www.sparkpeople.com is exactly what the Lord knew I needed to get me the kick start and desire and support I've been wanting for years.
3. I go home in 3 days!
4. Despite the snow, I still made it to the temple and not only was able to join an endowment session, but also got to be present as my great-grandmother's 3 brothers were baptized and confirmed by proxy. I hadn't expected to experience what I did, but it was wonderful.
5. I was part of 3 different choirs for the Christmas season. Two of which I was able to sing in and not play the piano. While I love to serve as a piano player (even with my flaws), I love celebrating the Christmas season with singing. And the music we sang was wonderful.
6. I managed to get Christmas presents for family, branch, and co-workers all within the budget I set for it.
7. The credit card I thought I could pay off in 7-8 months may take less since there is $1000 less that I owe on it!!!!
8. I've watched some wonderful Christmas movies this season and it has made me so happy.
9. Last Christmas being my worst Christmas ever only makes this Christmas-Full-of-Happiness even more wonderful!
10. I've lost 7 pounds in 11 days!

Student as the Teacher, Teacher is the Student

[from my personal online journal today]

Sunday night, after the amazing 1st Presidency Christmas Devotional, I found out that our Institute teacher was still fighting a cold and wanted me to substitute as the teacher. I haven't subbed in Institute since my mother asked me back in '04 or '05. It's been a while. And the one thing I have the most difficulty teaching (for I love teaching) is scriptures. I always feel so lacking in knowledge, and I worry the Spirit will have such a small well to draw from.

But what I do love is how much teachers always learn so much (often more than the students) from any lesson that they prepare. And I have gained so much in preparing for this lesson! Personal things that I have been needing. And while some show me where I could and should have been doing better, it has all come out in an encouraging, I-can-do-this way. And I feel so incredibly uplifted from this. Full of light even! I know I could never convey to the students all that I have been able to gain in this less-than-48-hours to prepare. But I'm so glad our teacher felt impressed to have me teach, for this has been exactly what I've needed in my life.

How I love that the Lord loves me and always knows what I need, when I need it.

P.S. May I beg a prayer from you for me for tonight? I am still a bit on the nervous side, not only in worrying about having the Spirit with me, but also in the temporalness of feeling so ignorant and silly next to some of the most amazingly spiritually intelligent people I have ever known in my life. And the worry of teaching false doctrine!! Ah, I need to stop or I'm going to work myself into a tizzy. (Used to always want to be able to use that phrase--I've changed my mind.)

Renewing and Reinforcing My Focus

There are cycles of good and bad times, ups and downs, periods of joy and sadness, and times of plenty as well as scarcity. When our lives turn in an unanticipated and undesirable direction, sometimes we experience stress and anxiety. One of the challenges of this mortal experience is to not allow the stresses and strains of life to get the better of us—to endure the varied seasons of life while remaining positive, even optimistic. Perhaps when difficulties and challenges strike, we should have these hopeful words of Robert Browning etched in our minds: 'The best is yet to be' ("Rabbi Ben Ezra," in Charles W. Eliot, ed., The Harvard Classics, 50 vols. [1909–10], 42:1103).”

L. Tom Perry, "Let Him Do It with Simplicity", Ensign, Nov. 2008, 7

That is certainly my challenge in life right now. "Remaining positive, even optimistic" in spite of the roller coaster of life. And trust me, my roller coaster has been rough. This year hasn't been as many ups and downs. Rather it has been many, many lows. And if any of you are enjoyers of roller coasters as I am, you know that a roller coaster of all lows is very depressing, boring, and even a bit suffocating. Why wouldn't you want that rush of wind and excitement that you get with all the highs and even the loops?

Every time I try to make that roller coaster go higher, I get shoved back down. Often it is my own self doing the shoving. I believe it is because I've been focusing on the wrong things. While the Savior is ever at my side and I try hard to rely on Him, it is the particular things that I'm trying to change that I'm wrong about. I don't change myself. The Savior changes me, through His Atonement. All I can truly change is my attitude and how I choose to let the down times affect me. I've been trying for happiness. But I don't think I've been trying hard enough. I am determined to find a truer, more lasting happiness that can be felt by anyone around me.

And I really do think that I can bring that happiness and turn it into joy by continuing to focus on the Savior and following His commandments, and remembering that the best really is yet to be. So much has been promised me. I'm just in the preparation stages so I can handle all of that wonderfulness. Plus, it will mean more to me when it does come having gone through what I've had to.